Random Thoughts

A few weeks ago I posted the following thought on Facebook-

 

"I'm finding that I don't necessarily have a firm stance on most things in life...i.e. I like to be healthy and feed my kids healthy things but I also enjoy junk food. I love working out but if I skip a day (or 2 or 3) it's no biggy. I vaccinate my children against some things but not others and I don't really care if others choose to vaccinate or not. I like my job and what I do as a nurse but I also wouldn't mind be a stay-at-home mom (I would actually prefer it most of the time.) 

I suppose there are really only 2 things I stand firm on and believe in whole heartedly, that is 1) God, Jesus Christ and the Plan of Salvation 2) the importance of family."
 

This thought frequently crosses my mind. I used to wonder why I'm not particularly "good" at any one thing, but realize it's probably because I dapple in a little of everything. How does the saying go? "Jack of all trades, Master of none"? Yeah that pretty much somes up my life. 

Today, however, this thought didn't have anything to do with talents, it had to do with friends. Let me explain. Sarah and I had a conversation this morning about not feeling a part of our ward families. (Wards are the areas/neighborhoods that go together to church.) I have lived in my ward boundries for almost 5 years. I love my ward. We have wonderful people in this ward. Yet, most of the time I feel like I have one foot in and one foot out, it's like I'm standing on the threshold of a home and can't figure out if I would be better inside or outside. During my conversation with Sarah, I started to wonder, are my feelings about my ward related to the fact that I don't really have close friends and I have a tendency to talk to everyone and not really be close to anyone. In essence, am I "dappling" in accquaintences, but never really developing deep, satisfying friendships? If so, perhaps the best way to really feel a part of my ward family would be to develop better friendships. Not just the "hey how are you, we should hang out sometime" friendships, but friendships where uplifting conversations occur with ease and you have the desire to stay in that persons presence. Ultimately, this begins with me.

So I have a new goal for for 2014. (It's not too late to make resolutions, right?) I plan to be a better friend, one that others want to be around. I plan to spend more time listening and less time talking. I will be that friend that uplifts others. I hope by doing this, I will develop friendships that last and that I will no longer feel like I'm standing on the threshold, instead I'll be standing inside, surrounded by people I love, in a place that feels like home.